REAL Expressions

Distractions

2010-11-24T13:20:00.007-05:00

My life has been filled with many indifferent experiences when it comes to an 'ideal' lifestyle. I know that everybody has a different purpose but it is extremely difficult to understand what seems to be our collective purpose as human beings. People don't even understand another person's self-value much less their own unless associated with obvious material splendor... Which basically presents a distinct distraction.

It is already almost impossible to ignore hence the reason it is called a distraction, but there must be a reason why it doesn't just disappear. Whatever rotating thought you hold in ur head is possibly the dominant reality you will experience, which must be why we ask questions like... Why is it that we always get what we don't want?

In reality it seems that the only certainty in life is essentially doubt. We always question things even when society frowns upon thinking outside the box, but no one likes to admit that we don't really know shit. That, in my honest opinion is a perfect example of a serious distraction.

In essence, distractions are most definitely not easy to deal with and they'll take a lot of energy out of anybody. So how do we find efficient methods to deal with these real life problems we face daily? Unfortunately, I don't know the perfect answer to that question but that is the purpose of writing this expressive piece. Questioning events and ocurrences in this life may just be the first step towards feeling a little better. Distracting ourselves from what is infront of our eyes or from what we feel doesn't seem like a good solution either, but trying to understand our own situations and the issues we face can probably help us to accept things for what they are. Who knows... the common issues we face might even be that way because of our own mentalities as well!

So with all that good stuff being addressed, it could be a new vibe we can spark up with a fresh buzz, then keep it flowing and use those distractions to keep us focused on what we find out about our own self-worth. That might just be the reason why we have the capacity to think... Right? ;)

‎"Thought means life, since those who do not think do not live in any high or real sense. Thinking makes the man." - A.B. Alcott

World Cup Fever!!!

2010-06-30T21:56:00.006-05:00

There is so much new energy to share around this time every four years... and this time around, the African continent is the ones sparking up the all the joy and excitement.

I had to do something to show my appreciation and even though it's been a while I did something like this, I couldn't pass up this opportunity ;-)

This world cup has already been noted from arguably everybody that it is FILLED with surprises. Absolutely no one expected Italy and France to be already knocked out of the world cup, Spain to lose their first match, England and the US to struggle to get out of their zone and then worst getting knocked out of the round of 16. If that is not unorthodox, I don't know what is... but I love it!

(click here to access more pics of this type)

What has got my attention in particular is how well the South Americans have been doing so far including Chile who were knocked out by Brazil but not disgraced as they did extremely well to cruise through their zone as a formidable team while brushing aside the Swiss in the process. By how things appear to be shaping up right now, there might just definitely be a CONMEBOL team in the finals.

My full support right now is focused on Ghana... Inspiration for an entire continent. Brazil is definitely the team to beat and the favourites (my favourites too, hehe!) but the 'Black Stars of Africa' are essential the soul or spiritual essence of this world cup. I do not think they will lift the cup, but when their work is done they will already have left a powerful impact on the entire world cup population. All I can say is, "thank you Ghana".

Keeping It Light-Weight

2009-11-13T17:21:00.003-05:00

There are a number of issues that dwell in our thoughts as one goes about living a normal life, and there might even be at least one that seems to get stuck on repeat in our heads. These issues can most of the time be psychological, if not all the time and when it is psychological, finding the strength to erase that issue is like pulling a tooth that is no where near ready to be extracted.

However, there is one fundamental element that often eludes people either by deception or straight forward ignorance. This element is a key principle in visualizing different ideas to help simplify any necessary complications that anyone can stumble across at any time, anywhere or by any means. It can be referred to or expressed as Spiritual Truth as it basically embraces the concept of Natural Law. Natural Law is simply what makes us feel good or true to ourselves; whatever we think is good, forms the basis of Spiritual Truth which every human being can relate to on any level... better yet, all living beings.

The more simple we choose to live or complicated lives, the more light-weight we can and should feel... and that's why I have this vibe doing what I do, bringing that sunlight, flowing with that energy that keeps the world spinning and this Universe's mysteries calling out to us to uncover new discoveries.

(To view the link to this video click here)

Making things easier is something that anybody can do... just ask Uncle Bob.

2009-10-16T00:42:00.008-05:00

Keeping things cool in our lives is probably what the average person wants to think about on a regular basis. We might even intensify that feeling if we get REALLY pissed at whatever we shouldn't be thinking at that particular instance. When we don't realise that we're not keeping it cool, you might just find yourself in an unfortunate situation probably looking something like this...

The term "keeping it cool" therefore does not mean trying to be humourous or going all out to gain attention for the sake of popularity; it however implies keeping a relaxed state of mind by placing ourselves in harmony with our ability to obtain what we require for growth from each experience. Thinking, discussing and visualizing conditions of disharmony and discord of every kind is the exact opposite of what the term mentioned above implies and it will eventually lead to situations similar to the unfortunate dude in that video clip sponsored by two websites promoting personal growth and development and the other emphasizing that "It all comes back to you".

Desirable conditions are secured thankfully by entertaining desirable thoughts and that we reap what we sow is mathematically exact. For this reason Insight is something we should practice mentally so that the thoughts we entertain entail mental, moral and phisical vitality which we definaitely should want objectified in our lives. Living a life without this truth is a reality which I'm not very sure I want to even fathom... shit, I think I'll just let this performance by Jay-Z give you a cool perspective on what a dude like me could possibly be thinking right now;)

Fact VS. Imagination

2009-10-08T20:00:00.026-05:00

What seemed to be a huge mental task for me was visualizing factual stuff versus imagining. The difference between the two became clear to me recently as I started to wonder which one made more sense. They both take place your head or mind, they happen to take effect mostly when you have a lot of free time on your hands and essentially when you really want something or a certain condition.

The distinct difference which was timely revealed to me, is that visualizing factual images or thoughts will result in the exact manifestation of those thoughts... so exact, it can be measured to a science; while constantly entertaining imaginary thoughts leads to all kinds of speculations and conclusions and results in mental chaos. Anything imaginary basically implies it may not be true or realistic, which can leave you perplexed, confused, miserable... just simply fucked up mentally. That analysis marked the end of my moments of prolonged daydreaming and fantasizing since I learned that it was a good servant but a poor master;)

A discovery like that definitely leads to a whole new level of creative thinking which is quickly followed by thought organization. Constructive thinking then seems like the more sensible method to manifest any desirable condition as it only entails visualizing the personal images that you desire while it brings enthusiasm and joy. Mental chaos is not even worth talking about much less entertaining the thoughts associated with it, so... do the math!

An Introduction to REAL Entertainment

2009-09-18T20:17:00.007-05:00

Entertainment is a phenomenon which includes people who want to find an agreeable occupation for their minds. Their thoughts automatically gravitate to whatever feels good to them and they continue engaging that vibe depending on the intensity of that person and the amount of energy they have left to enjoy it. However, the level of entertainment can vary from country to country or the towns within the countries... but where I'm from, there's always more than enough energy to burn when it comes to entertainment. It is a huge part of the JA'can culture that branches off into several aspects.

To name a few is still a lot, but here is a clip showing an example of what this interesting culture's dancing is like. The video clip was done by a couple of good friends of mine who share a similar passion for creative expressions as myself. The location of this clip is in Waterhouse, Kingston; a well known inner-city/ghetto/garrison where our culture is very raw, but authentic...

Proverbs 24:10 from Rickards Bros. on Vimeo.

That's just a piece.

Another unique aspect is an uncanny ability to express thoughts in a comical, aggressive, spiritual or silky-smooth manner using music with lyrical rhymes. We call it dancehall/reggae.

Check this out... the following clips feature performances of some of Jamaica's leading dance hall and reggae artists, Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley and his big brother Stephen Marley sons of the late Bob Marley. This next video is an example of the comical expression I was talking about>>>

This is the aggressive side>>>

Here we have the spiritual side>>>

... And of course, the silky-smooth side ;) >>>>>

Well as the title implies, this is just an introduction... so stay tuned homies!!!

Re-analyzing Purpose

2009-08-20T19:34:00.019-05:00

Doubt has a lot of faces and it changes impressions as the situation differs from one to the next. These situations occur when you are confronted by a scenario where the choice you make determines the outcome of an important action that can or will affect the rest of your life... pretty straight forward, huh;) However straight forward it might sound, that feeling of doubt is not just a piece of cake, nor is it a challenge that can be quickly analysed and brought to a conclusion. Even if you decide which decision to make, there might still be a feeling of doubt.

With that said, a new perspective can now make its way into this creative or expressive piece. A new mode of thinking that can only be applied if one is aware of them self and their environment, possesses a reasonable sense of humour, and is familiar with the Jamaican expression, "buil' nuh!" This term simply means to be patient. Nothing should be done hastily or in a rush, especially when one is in doubt. "When you are in doubt, wait (buil'). Fall back on the contemplation of your vision, and increase your faith and purpose; and by all means, in times of doubt and indecision, cultivate gratitude." - Wallace D. Wattles, 1910.

Who said gratitude wasn't "the shit"?! That stuff is as good as the highest grades of marijuana on the island paradise of Jamaica or even better, and is super easy to obtain or access. All that needs to be done is to think of something that makes you feel really good, something special that makes you realise how lucky you are to be alive and energetic... the list can just keep going on and on. Finding something different to be grateful for every time the word GRATITUDE comes to mind, makes those faces of doubt turn into a big fat grin which actually makes life seem like its only purpose is to make sure you never fail to strengthen your faith until you eventually find your dreams.

That's why it may be worth it to just 'buil' or hope and pray.

That's Just the Way It Is

2009-06-17T11:12:00.014-05:00

Since this blog endorses philosophy, let me take you on an interesting but brief journey. After years of experiences, adventures, climaxes and anti-climaxes, I am now realising that everything that you once believed in from birth can change at any second, even if you stick to doing everything you always did the way you wanted to go about doing them. It might be baffling at first but it's inevitable; nothing can stop that from happening because it is generated from an unerring process called change.

Why is change inevitable? Why can't things be straight forward all the time, or should I say... less complicated? I'm sure that anybody reading this has asked that question and more or less often than once, but the answers are unfortunately NOT straight forward. The truth is that we don't need to wonder why things are so complex, because once a problem arises there is nothing that we can't solve. It only becomes a problem when we think it is a problem and as a result, our minds start to play games with our entire body. There are many examples of distinguished individuals who went about trying to acquire some of these outrageous answers to problems that they came across and not for a moment were these crazy ass people perturbed by their circumstance.

My first example is a about a French guy named Urbain Le Verrier, who lived in the 18th century. He was a mathematician who specialized in celestial mechanics but is really famous for his part in the discovery of the planet Neptune. Now we can only just imagine that this dude was really into what he did, but the thing that made this homie special was that he noticed something weird about the motion/orbit of Uranus. Based off of his calculations and his knowledge of gravity something wasn't right... if his calculations were exact, he would need another star or planet at a certain place to keep the solar system in order. The moment he realised that something was fucked up, Neptune appears in the place and hour appointed... pretty cool, huh;)

Our minds can easily play games with us and that is why enjoying and appreciating life is without a doubt the key to dealing with change. I'm still learning how to improve my sense of humour 'cause sometimes shit can make you so heated or confused that neither a swimming pool filled with the most beautiful, sexiest, naked ladies (here's a link that shows some JA'can artistic photos of the type of ladies I'm referring to) from 7 different countries nor a professional massage from the worlds greatest masseuse can make you feel any different from those negative feelings that linger in your head. No matter what, I definately have to change the way I think... do I need to say more?

Episode 6: A Natural Concept

2009-06-07T14:01:00.009-05:00

For some strange reason ;) I always hear some random person talking about something that they need. At that instance, I might not know why they need whatever it is that they want but when they start expressing that feeling, I just end up indulging myself with their line of thought like I was a kid again that found out about the latest video game console. The more people I interact with is the more creative my line of thought gets, since 90% of the people I end up having conversations with for more than 15 minutes seem to be pretty cool individuals… he he!

That word; “need”, can be translated to the word “desire”, which is straight forward. Anything we think we need is more than likely something that you’ve been thinking about for… for a while. It has become a desire so it has by now taken over your mind, body and soul. That’s as deep as it gets… no limits. It only gets deeper or it naturally undergoes gradual stages of evolution.

That is the mind; powerful nuh bloodcleet!

However, lack of self-control can make a really interesting desire a very unnecessary psychological issue.

A desire is developed from a spark of interest from something observed, analyzed, visualised or all of the aforementioned combined. Anything interesting to someone is something natural that appeals to the senses, but when a person forgets about that creative aspect that initially caught their attention, they can become easily mislead by distractions that are always around. Distractions come in the form of people, things or misleading information that appear to be truthful or logical as it becomes difficult to figure out whether that thing that has caught your interest is worth checking out. That is the point where it starts being a psychological issue since the thing that was once interesting has now been erased out of your creative mind and anything else that tries to stimulate that idea is simply blocked out or suppressed. That eventually leads to a gradual deterioration of your mind and hardcore emotional instability.

That process, starting from the spark of interest leading up to the point of desire is the essential part of our thinking that is always the aspect that is hard to remember or re-trace or simply appreciate for the majority of human beings. That reason is not worth talking about right about now, but the effects of that lack of appreciation is evident all around us. It is natural for us to find anything interesting. That was how we were made, whether we appreciate that concept or not. It is impossible for a person to dismiss that idea because no form of communication is monotonous. We always say or do things that even surprise ourselves. The way each person thinks is unique and the way we express what we think is even more unique as the mind is unlimited with ways and means of expression. A simple example of that can be portrayed if one tries to ask any number of individuals the same question; each answer would be expressed differently since each would naturally try to respond to the question the best way they can... a perfect example of that as well is the website twitter :D

Since your brain stores information naturally, one can then easily analyze different forms of creative expression that has been observed from anybody at the point of birth to the present. One cannot deny the creative ability of the mind, hence the longer someone takes to recognize that unique aspect of every human being is the longer it takes to develop mentally. The longer it takes to develop mentally, is the easier it is to be misled or distracted which is the worst issue that I think humans experience. With that said, I think all communication or physical and verbal interaction should endeavour to be appreciated, stimulating and liberating… NATURALLY.

Episode 5: My Energy

2009-06-02T16:49:00.004-05:00

There was always something that had me amazed at the power of a magnet. How does this piece of metal have enough energy to pull other pieces of iron or metal to it? Where did this energy originate from? Why does it have so much influence? It obviously has an influence on me; that’s why I can even find words to write about it. Even though a magnet is such an interesting substance, isn’t there even more interesting evidence of magnetism all around us?

Everyday seems to get more interesting. Time seems to have no effect on my mind anymore when I see or visualize something spectacular. Anything that holds such appeal to my interests makes me more interested in that particular thing than everything else in my consciousness, until I have a reason to think otherwise.

There are so many events that have happened in my life that reaffirms that magnetic power that I’ve always been curious about. As a child, I was curious about almost everything that I didn’t know about that even had the slightest resemblance of a magnetic pull, whether it was a person, a thing, a place or a situation.

My mind was unconsciously gathering information that appealed to all my senses, but that information was mostly based on its magnetic appeal. If it had no vibe to it, it couldn’t stay in my consciousness or my thoughts for too long, so that probably explains my relationships with females… the more interesting they were, the more attention they’d get. However, the more information that was stored was the more aware I became of the types of ladies that I didn’t want to be around.

Humility was and still is the biggest turn on for me where a lady is concerned. Style, grace, confidence, sharp sense of humour and a keen sense of awareness of her environment are additional qualities which follow that have me buzzing at the thought of her. Anything less than those attributes were of no interest then and the same is worse now. I was starting to realise that my body and mental activity was actually acting as that of a magnet!!! I was drawing to myself things, persons, places and situations that my spirit had a keen interest in based off of all the knowledge that had been already stored from my previous experiences! Anything that didn’t appeal to me was simply ignored.

The law of attraction is appealing to me even more every single day. I can’t stop thinking about it, neither can I stop associating it to everything that happens in my experiences. It is so natural that I’m starting to remember my days as a juvenile even clearer, as I can’t stop thinking about things that make me feel good. I get kicks out of deciding which interesting thought to recur in my head (LOL!). Life’s meaning is so vast and intense to think about. I love trying to find different ways to express that appreciation. Hence, the reason why I hate any negative vibe that tries to water-down my energy…

Episode 4: Conducive Thinking

2009-05-25T11:31:00.011-05:00

This Universe that we all live in constantly generates infinite possibilities for every living thing in existence. There is NOTHING that we cannot accomplish. “If there is a will there is a way”... that phrase is so common to me but its appeal has become more sincere than ever before and I am grateful to be aware enough to express it. As a result of that knowledge, I can’t help but going all out to acquire and accomplish as much as these possibilities that are conducive to my personality or should I say – the way I think.

Music is my life. I can associate any mood I’m in at any given time with a song from any genre of music and I've always loved doing that. It just kept giving me a buzz, or a surge of energy that I feel through my entire body that makes every negative thought dissipate and allows a warm feeling like warm sunlight to generate inside me. I still love doing that and it has been a habit for as long as I can remember. Not only can I associate my moods with music, I can transform anything that I see or think about into music. Basically… music makes me remember how grateful I am about my life and everything that is connected to it, along with every aspect that contributes to the well-being of my existence.

I recently discovered that the more I get to travel and explore places I’ve never been to, there would more than likely be endless resources (this is a link to an example of the vast resources JA has to offer in artistic photography) to tap into about life and the way that I think. These may probably include countless interesting mysteries waiting to unfold, infinite blessings ready to burst into manifestation like a dark and heavy rain cloud that cannot contain the water that has accumulated in it… that might just be a decent example of the never-ending desire that I have to learn. I guess it could also explain why I’m so intense. This intensity prevents me from taking things for granted, even if I forget.

One thing that takes the cake as it cannot seem to ever leave my thoughts is the essence of a woman. Whether I’m in a relationship or spending time with a female that my whole body responds to, my thoughts begin to increase in clarity. I become saturated with positive vibrations and my level of awareness becomes keener. Any female that I’m mentally and physically attracted to becomes the centre of my thoughts which also automatically governs my spirit. When I get lost in my empress’ eyes, my subconscious mind becomes one with my conscious mind as I begin to increase in awareness. I don’t even need to think about what I am actually doing at that point in time because I start to feel every sensitive part about her entire being without even touching her. We become one… our minds and our bodies. Her voice sets the tone to the song that is coming from our connected hearts, and it plays non-stop until we choose to press pause.

That is just the way I am and that is how I intend to be plus more. My thoughts create my lifestyle, and the more I try to improve that mentality, is the easier it will get. My fears are the only things that can alter the way I think; but my unconditional love for music, the essence of a woman and the journeys that my life will embark on will only urge me to endeavour to keep that light shining bright inside and through me. This Universe that I am apart of is my influence, as it reflects infinite beauty, power, prosperity and wisdom… any method of thinking that is less than that, LAME! :D

Episode 3: Jamaican Inspiration

2009-05-20T14:04:00.012-05:00

Why do people from JA find inspiration so hard to come by? Parents that have children seem to be so miserable half of the time that their children don’t even remember what fun is anymore. Everybody seems to look “overly-serious” as if to say, “Nothing is more stressful than my life”. If that is the case for every Jamaican, what exactly do foreigners see or hear about Jamaica that has them going so crazy over this place?

Travelling brings one of the nicest feelings I can think of when I close my eyes and fantasize about something that interests me… but travelling as a Jamaican??? That shit is off the hook!!! I’ve been going to the states, and it has always been a nice experience. I’ve been to Canada once and that was even better (All those occasions, however, I was always around Jamaicans or they weren’t far away). Who would have guessed that my greatest adventure of all would have been in a country where they don’t even speak English? I will be doing a lot more travelling for the rest of my life... but Mexico has definitely made an impact in my life.

That’s where I started to realize that my environment had a lot to do with the way I thought. I started to feel in charge of my emotions and I didn’t even want to feel any negative vibe around me. Everything I ever wanted to do, I was doing plus more. Anybody that found out I was Jamaican would instantly start asking questions as if they were desperate to absorb the energy that they needed all their life that only a Jamaican could give them. Of course it felt good, but it automatically made me wonder... how come everybody else where I came from couldn’t get this same experience? The more I thought about it was the more life began to make sense.

Everything that we think about continuously will inevitably become our reality. Eventually, I realised the more negative thoughts ran through my head, the more things would be a drag. It took me a while to learn about my “emotional guidance system” which was the dictator of my personality and mentality. Anything that I thought about would either make me feel “ok” or “not ok”. To be clearer, a positive mood would indicate that I was frequently thinking about something cool, and a negative vibe would mean I was thinking negatively for a prolonged period of time. So, even though I eventually figured all that part out, how come inspiration was still hard to come by?

We all can use our energy positively. There are so many things in Jamaica that stand out, that it amazes everybody around the globe. Our music “sell-off”, or dancing “sell-off”, our cuisine, our athletic and sporting prowess, or patois… our whole culture (this link makes JA'can culture pop out of your monitor or whatever you're reading this blog on) sell-off!!! It seems that the whole world gains unlimited positive energy from us; so why can’t we appreciate ourselves as well?

Don't be no drag!

Episode 2: No Stress

2009-05-18T16:23:00.008-05:00

Feeling good enhances everything. That’s what life should be all about. Don’t believe me? Ok, analyze Jamaican culture…even if you are the most boring person in your family, you’d still know how to crack a joke off of some random occurrence that happens during the course of any given day. It’s inherent. There’s no possible way to not find some humour in situations, no matter how messed up it is. Jamaicans seem to have a knack at finding reality interesting, but yet we still don’t seem to realize that life would be cooler if we could do that all the time.

We seem to have a mental block against trying to feel good about life on a regular basis, because that must be the reason why people don’t like when they see other people enjoying life and endeavouring to life it to the fullest. “Badmine” is like the order of the day. Of course there are some who don’t go about making other people’s business their own but they are so far and in between that it makes those types of people seem like endangered species. So... eventually things get complicated, and that makes a bad situation turn into hell. Nothing gets better and it starts to make our culture deteriorate. Nothing feels good anymore.

Now we automatically start thinking about family living abroad or all your girlfriends that live there too and start to shortlist the best candidates that would be willing to file for your hopeless self. All because life is starting to get a little bit too stressful; or should I still say “Fucked up”. This mindset is so common that Jamaicans in Miami, NY, London or any other foreign country make highly populated Jamaican communities feel a little too cluster phobic. They are almost everywhere, but it doesn’t necessarily have a good effect. If you left Jamaica with the “Badmine” mentality, you’d just get sucked up into America’s "entrapment culture" and other “illusions” from other cultures faster than immigrants from different countries, and you’d spend more time wasting time.

I only wish that our society would embrace the concept of thinking for one’s self and aiming to become self-sufficient. What the hell is wrong with that concept? Wasn’t it our ancestors who made it possible to understand the meaning of the word “freedom”? Wasn’t that supposed to be the vision of our own Marcus M. Garvey and great men like Hailie Selassie? Or better yet, a guy by the name of Martin Luther King and another called Malcom X… how come we seem to forget about those people so fast when they were here more recently than “the one who was sent to die on the cross for us”? Weren’t they black just like us too or is it just a typical case of “Badmine”?

I don’t seem to get it, nor do I think I want to… but I guess “a suh it jus set”. I just think I’m more important than concentrating about another person’s lifestyle. I've got mine to worry about, so since those people want to use their energy doing that, I think I’ll use all my energy to feel good about myself. It seems to make everything less stressful… makes sense, doesn’t it?

Episode 1: Feeling Good

2009-05-18T16:00:00.021-05:00

When I started to figure things out for myself, I instantly wanted to know more. I think I was about 15 or something when I was like, "Why the f#%k am I not vibin' the way I feel I should?!" I actually can only remember that at this point that I was always curious about a lot of issues that where bubbling in my thoughts but couldn't get the relevant answers. The more I learned was the more curious I got. I found myself wondering why people I grew with didn’t want me to be exposed to certain things… realistic things which was happening all around me. That hindrance just made my curiosity grow and I began to find myself in settings that responded to my intensity. I started to think a little bit further than my usual scope of thought, but nothing random... mostly proactive ideas, concepts that started to make me realize my own potential and I eventually made it a habit; not yet realizing that I was learning what self-confidence was, but I just kept going and without hesitation.

One thing lead to the next and I was starting to feel drained. I had been linking and networking with a number of people, but after a while I began to feel like I was doing something wrong. I felt uneasy because it appeared to me that my peers couldn't appreciate my way of vibin' and there wasn't really anybody around to confirm my concern or guide me either. I still kept pushing however, and it eventually seemed like the more I pushed was the more my acquaintances started to ridicule the stuff I did and said… so, that’s the part where I started to feel drained out. In my daydreams I knew what I wanted but I couldn't figure out how to make my daydreams materialize to ease my increasing frustrations. I probably was totally convinced at this point that I needed some serious assistance to help me block the obvious distractions.

Things remained the same until I went to Mexico – mi paradiso. That was where I started to believe in things I thought about; I actually started to remember to believe in myself and continued learning what self confidence was all about but in a more detailed fashion lol. The only logical explanation for the ridicule I would get was simply because my confidence offended their insecurities. Who was I to feel that my life was worth more? Who was I to feel like I should treat myself with the highest levels of respect? Who does that?

When I got back home, it just got worse. “Fucked up” is more like it… to the point where what was so easy just magically transformed to almost impossible. Sometimes I feel like Jamaican people don’t entertain confidence because they like arrogance, but they’ll kill you if you get too successful which became a revelation to me at the time of how irony in its simplest form can be depicted. I didn't know what the fuck was happening… confusing isn’t even the best word to describe it. “Fucked up” still feels more like it but thankfully I quickly learned before I became insane.

One of the 1st power points up to that moment in my life that had also taught me a timely lesson in maturity occurred when I returned to the Land of Wood and Water (click link to see wonderful JA'can art) followed as such; the more I kept priceless information to myself and only shared it with ones who were more experienced than me in that area of struggle, the better and safer I’d be. I had to get smarter or it would cost me my life. People that I thought were my friends later on defined the phenomena of hypocritical behaviour as well which is why re-defining what true friendship really is has now become a ritual and a lifestyle for me. At that point, reality started to take a toll on me because my health was also under attack. I was getting heated easily and cold, frustrated, not to mention de-motivated. I was about to give up until I realised that all this bullshit was supposed to happen. How else was I supposed to see shit clear?

Everything happens for a reason… if all I could see was negativity, and I started to believe that life is “Fucked up” then all I would get would be straight up FUCKERY! My mind was creating my lifestyle. When I started to feel down I persistently kept myself in that state of mind instead of trying to stay positive like how it used to be when I was a juvenile. Back then all I wanted to do was have fun and I didn’t have time to think about anything else [That’s why I can get along with kids easily, those days were one of the best so I can relate to that ;)]. Now I realise that being sheltered guarantees low self-esteem which is a set-back, and that hinders progress… nothing is more important than feeling good, NOTHING!!!